To the dismay of my loyal Dubuque constituents, on this fetid smear of sub/sub cultural land- I from the pulpit, positioned adjacent (West) of the Mississippi River… where the catfish somersault out of the muck and mock the Busch Light drinkers, now concede the Al-Qaeda leadership. Hey, they picked another guy. I’ve come to terms with it. Dubuque can exhale now.
Of course you know my running mate Ric Ocasek, principal songwriter of the Cars and early eighties’ pheromone was a concern from the beginning. I realized early on that the ‘Beatitude’ album would be problematic and could kill us at the polls. Track two’s “Something to Grab For” made nice for our political mantra, plus it just looked great air-brushed on our tour bus and sure as hell resonated with the voters; however it must have been track one’s tepid “Jimmy Jimmy” that put an end to our ambitions. Track five’s “Connect Up to Me” ran an astonishing (7:37)! When are we gonna learn? Just because you wrote it doesn’t mean you have to play it. It’s too bad really… I was going to create a special cabinet seat for Greg Hawkes, the (un)sung hero. He would have made a great Minstrel of Defense. But enough said, I forgive you for not taking to the booths as you might have intended. So I remain Dubuque’s 8th bluff… back into the welding spats again- American made, exiled but neighborly I shall march into the comforting embrace of Andropause, my son wrapped around the neck and/plus enjoying the hive with a good woman.